November 25, 2011

Amazing to be able to talk to somebody around the world. what a small world this truly has become. To complain about all that is going wrong seems silly when the tools to make things better are at our fingertips... literally. Never fall prey to the "I am only one person" mentality because it only takes one person to start a movement. In fact, it has to start with one person.

November 24, 2011

Although I did not get to spend Thanksgiving with my "birth family" (as my sister refers to it), I am still so incredibly grateful for the amazing people that I get to call my family. My deepest learnings came from my relationship to each and every one of them and for that, I am thankful.

November 23, 2011

My joy is spilling over today. I have no idea why. Today is as ordinary as any other day. Or is it? I guess I'll never know, and I really don't think it matters. Just go with it.

November 22, 2011

Cirque du Soleil is precisely what is needed to make one believe that anything is possible. There is absolute magic in human performance. We always have the ability to do something magical... whether you can twist  yourself into a crazy shape, swing from a trapeze, or share a dollar with somebody who needs it.  

November 21, 2011

Hanging out with friends is a great way to make doing nothing feel like doing something. 

November 20, 2011

Earlier this year, I swore I would never go back to the San Diego zoo.

Today, I went back.

Lesson: Stop swearing that I will never do something again. That's a surefire way to actually do it again.

November 19, 2011

Shhhh... sometimes I don't want to learn anything and I just want to talk about people... and laugh. It's fun and you know it!

November 18, 2011

Watching my behavior as if I was an outside observer can be quite an interesting task. As I feel myself being attacked, or feeling as if I am being attacked, I can then see myself needing to make other people feel attacked. I was feeling like a bad wife (based on irrelevant comments that were being made) so I then decided to put Marc down in the most ridiculous of ways (ie. "you don't even know how to clean the stovetop anyway"... I know, it's harsh). Could it be true? Misery really does love company? Ugh, why would you want somebody to feel as miserable as you feel in that moment in time? It does not make the situation any better, in fact, it makes it worse. 

The enlightening part of it all is that I can feel myself doing it. And although, I may sometimes have a hard time stopping it, I do not have a hard time apologizing about it. 

Luckily, he often has no idea what I am even apologizing about.

November 17, 2011

My ability to sense other people's challenges in letting go, that is, the physical letting go of emotional manifestations is only a reminder for me to let go. As many times as I cross a client that cannot relax their body, I can choose to relax mine even more. Why work harder to release their tension when I can just release mine instead? Who's to say that isn't just as good?

November 16, 2011

Confrontations are usually pretty awkward and for some reason, I seem to be having to do them more than ever before. I've avoided them in the past because I was terrified of hurting somebody's feelings. But if I am approaching the situation in a calm way and conveying my message as clear and supportive manner, then the choice to have one's feelings hurt is their responsibility. This understanding really does make the discussion much easier... at least on my behalf.

November 15, 2011

I had an amazing chance today to see how much love I have in my life... to give and receive.

During yoga, we were asked to imagine somebody that presents a challenge for us, somebody that often triggers us to protect our hearts. I was so grateful to not be able to think of anyone. As many issues as I have had with some peeps in the past, on this day, I feel completely free.

November 14, 2011

If doing something new wasn't slightly scary then it's probably not challenging enough. Being "scared" (I'll call it) is a side effect of stepping out of your comfort zone. And stepping out of one's comfort zone is a side effect of living a fulfilling life. 

November 13, 2011

Take one day, and with every person you come in contact with, think to yourself... "what can I learn from this person?" or "what is this person teaching me about myself?"

Perspective, the ability to see different perspectives, is an incredibly valuable tool to have.

November 12, 2011

It's funny how apologizing can be an incredibly difficult task for some people. Admitting you are wrong or even admitting that something you said could have been hurtful, whether intentional or not, can be a challenge. It is my opinion that the feeling of relief and release from having apologized is so much better than the feeling of holding on to pride. Apologize and simply let it go.

November 11, 2011

Today I learned what it means to relinquish control and allow Marc to play a role that I am used to playing. He planned a last minute BBQ and I had absolutely no part in preparing or shopping for it. It was extremely uncomfortable and nervous that his actions would make me look bad. And then I realized how absolutely ridiculous that thought was.  My struggle with perfectionism had an opportunity to show up again. I consciously chose to let go of responsibility and trusted that Marc would ask me for help if he needed it. Surprise, surprise... everything worked out!

November 10, 2011

One of the greatest feelings is not having seen my...

I seemed to have skipped this post on this day. I came back to it and this is all I had written. I have absolutely no recollection of where I was going with this thought. But now, I am highly intrigued.  So, I'll just fill in the blank.

One of the greatest feelings is not having seen my husband for a long time and then hearing him walk in the front door!

November 9, 2011

The older I get the more I realize that age has absolutely nothing to do with wisdom or intelligence. A 25 year old that chooses to learn from life's experiences can be even more wise than an 85 year old that played victim all of life's experiences. 

November 8, 2011

I had an amazing experience with horses today, learning how to behave like them and establish my leadership among them. I had no idea that this exercise was going to reflect back to me own issues with establishing myself as a leader. Afraid of being seen as mean, concerned that I was doing it wrong and wouldn't be understood. As these feelings came up, I simply felt them, listened to them and let them go. I was told that if my intentions were clear and my energy directed positively towards the horses, then they will follow my direction. How is that any different than when I take this out of the horse arena? Absolutely not different at all!

November 7, 2011

I have an ability to figure out what it is that I want and then taking the steps to make it happen. Traditionally, I believe people look first and then figuring out what they want from the options they have found. To me, that's a sure fire way to be unhappy. And you can't fool me, everyone knows what they want. It's the fear of change or the fear of failing or any other fear you can think of that holds you back... not because you can't think of what you want.

"If you could do anything you wanted without the possibility of failing, what would you do?"

November 6, 2011

When somebody cancels last minute, I get upset and frustrated because I consider it to be rude. Usually they are canceling because either something came up or they just don't want to do what it is that's happening. And then it happens... I'm the one that wants to cancel but I can't do it because I don't want to be rude. So, I go along with the plans. But now it's clear, the only reason I get mad when somebody else does it is because I want to do it myself but don't. Well, it's high time I start canceling plans! OK, within reason, of course. I've spent a lot of money and time doing things I don't want to do because I feel bad saying no. I do not believe I need to endure anything I don't enjoy just to appease others. Oh wait, that's the reason I stopped going to church. Hmmm, maybe I have been doing this all along.    

November 5, 2011

I spent a bit of time today looking up pictures and videos of toys, commercials and tv shows from my childhood. I got just as excited as I am sure I did when I was a little girl. Tapping into that part of me, spending a little time with that little girl who is always there, always with me is so much fun. The thrill of finding a picture of my favorite barbie doll, the way a theme song comes back to me as if it hasn't been 25 years since I heard it and even the disappointment I feel when watching the commercial for the Power Wheels that I never got. It helps me tap into an innocence that I sometimes forget about. A child's mind has a simple approach to life. It's a refreshing place to be.

November 4, 2011

The source of the problem is often not where the pain is felt. Emotions are just as interconnected as muscles, tendons and bones. This is precisely why pain persists both physically and emotionally... until we find the source, pay attention to it and heal it.

November 3, 2011

Something happened today, or didn't happen. I had absolutely nothing to do. And I wasn't even avoiding anything. I simply had no pressing matters to get to or ignore. Is this what I have been waiting for? Is this the point of always doing? The answer is no, absolutely not. It doesn't change anything because what I learned is that I like having something to do and when there is nothing, I make something up. This doesn't take away from my ability to "be", it reminds me that there is plenty of time for both.

November 2, 2011

Today, I bought lunch for a man asking for spare change. I told him I didn't have any cash... I lied. I'd rather buy him a $5 meal than give him a $1 cash, and I am sure it's because I don't trust what he would spend it on. Quite frankly, that's the same reason why I am so picky about what charity I donate my money to, and I don't think I am the only one. I also don't think that I am right for doing this... or wrong. I judged, yes but the better part of me, the giving part still won. We all have both of these aspects but which one will you allow to guide you?

November 1, 2011

As far as I am concerned, November 1st is the official start of the Christmas season. The decorations are being put up in the bay and my carol singing has begun (in the quiet of my own home, of course). I absolutely love this time of year. There is more than just commercialism in the air... you just have to quiet down and feel it.

October 31, 2011

Being on the other side of a yoga class is proving to have a very interesting view. I am learning to not attach emotions or thoughts to various expressions I see in front of me. What I see on their faces is not a representation of what's going on inside of them. And as I learn that the importance of taking yoga off the mat is not only a lesson for the students.

October 30, 2011

AHHHHH!! this is too much work for one week. Money means nothing if this is how I feel. Wait... it seems as though most people feel this way after a full week of work, no? Now, I may only have worked 25 hours but it is a very physically taxing 25 hours. And, I am not willing to continue this cycle... I am working to change it. I am not alive simply to feel miserable at work. I am alive to take advantage of all the opportunities. Don't be miserable at work!!! Do something about it.