Watching my behavior as if I was an outside observer can be quite an interesting task. As I feel myself being attacked, or feeling as if I am being attacked, I can then see myself needing to make other people feel attacked. I was feeling like a bad wife (based on irrelevant comments that were being made) so I then decided to put Marc down in the most ridiculous of ways (ie. "you don't even know how to clean the stovetop anyway"... I know, it's harsh). Could it be true? Misery really does love company? Ugh, why would you want somebody to feel as miserable as you feel in that moment in time? It does not make the situation any better, in fact, it makes it worse.
The enlightening part of it all is that I can feel myself doing it. And although, I may sometimes have a hard time stopping it, I do not have a hard time apologizing about it.
Luckily, he often has no idea what I am even apologizing about.
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