February 27, 2011

Go against your grain, do something you wouldn't normally do, break one of your own rules... then see what your reaction is. Within this reaction lies truth. Today, I learned the depth of my competitive side and the extent to which I like things to be "perfect". I recognize that these two things stem from something else and I am willing to go there, if necessary. But for right now, acknowledging them will do me just fine as I remain at peace and centered. And you know what, I didn't take one picture today simoply because I forgot. So, in honor of challenging my perfectionistic side, a picture will purposely not be posted.

I know, I know, pictures haven't been posted for a while. But I'm telling you, I can't figure out how to do it. It just isn't working. They'll be here soon.

February 26, 2011

The pace of life is very slow here. There doesn't seem to be a rush. This doesn't mean that the fast paced life of an American is wrong and this way is correct (that would be judging ;) But doesn't the idea of slowing down a little but sound kind of nice? What are we really rushing to anyway? No, really... what? Most things in life are still going to be there no matter how fast we get there. I'd rather arrive with peace of mind.

February 25. 2011

To judge or not to judge...sometimes that is the question. It took me my entire first year of graduate school to finally realize what it means to judge someone, something, anything at all. And here I am, questioning it all over again. What better opportunity to be challenged than when i am out of my usual environment. So lets go over this again. A judgment will disturb my peace, bring about an uncomfortable feeling or a feeling of upset. A judgment is often of way of making me right and somebody else wrong. Observing, wondering, and asking questions is completely different. Am I trying to justify myself here? Also a good question. But, I don't believe that I am. To judge is to be judged, right? And let me be honest here, I am not trying to say that every one of my thoughts s pure and judgement free (that would be crazy talk). Sometimes, yes there is an opportunity to see how I am judging myself but using others as a sounding board. And sometimes, I'm just curious and thinking... "hmmm, I wonder what's going on over there."

I bet you're wondering what event led to this topic of conversation, huh?

February 24, 2011

Riding on the dala dala (Tanzanian's public transportation) is excessively hot, cramped and uncomfortable. Now, I can choose to fight it, complain and continiue to be miserable or I can surrender to it, relax my body, know that I am hot and know that there is an end is sight. I mean, there IS a nice breeze coming in through the window. Who knew that a 13 passenger van that carts around 30 people at a time would be an analogy for life's little situations.

February 23, 2011

Before I left home, somebody told me to bring the love to Tanzania. What they weren’t aware of is how much love Tanzania brings to me.

February 22, 2011

We arrived, we unpacked, we ate dinner, we are going to sleep. Grateful to be here, to have a house to sleep in and so very excited to see everyone!

February 21, 2011

Score! Holly and I got our own row on the flight from DC to Addis Ababa. I’m not sure what day it is right now and can’t tell the difference between boredom and hunger, which is why I am using my iphone with my kindle on my lap and some snacks right next to me. I believe delirium has set in but this is expected on such a trip. At least I have somebody to laugh with… and a seat between us.

Note: Holly was the first to read this and her response… “I can relate”

February 20, 2011

With an $11 burrito bowl at LAX (what a bargain), I have started my third journey to Tanzania. I was a little more anxious today than I've been in the past and I'm not really sure why. Maybe they are good nerves... The kind that tell me something really great is about to happen. The kind that tell me I am on the right path and I should be excited about it. Wait, how am I supposed to know the difference between good nerves and bad nerves? Hmmm... You know what, I don't get nervous when something isn't in alignment with me. I just know at the core of my being that it isn't. Yes that's right, I KNOW these are definitely excited nerves! Let the journey... Continue!I'm ready.

February 19, 2011

Today, I was pulled into See's Candy by an unknown energetic force. Historically, these are my least favorite chocolates in the whole world but I was willing to give it a 222nd chance. I quickly learned it wasn't about the chocolate treat (although quite delicious). Being in this store was like entering a time of yesteryear when we headed down to the local soda shop wearing our poodle skirts and bobby socks hoping that Johnny was waiting at the jukebox. OK, so that wasn't my time, but I am totally sincere when I say that all my cares vanished when I walked into that shop.

This experience was necessary to solidify the feelings I was having all day. After a brief conversation about "The Recession", I was feeling guilty about my lack of understanding and my complete disinterest in the topic. Perhaps, it has effected me in ways that I am not sure about but even if I did know, am I supposed to act differently? Am I supposed to be miserable and scared for the future? How the heck would that serve me? In all my "naiveté", I have managed to buy a house, go to graduate school loan free, travel a whole bunch, donate and increase my business. I am not saying that a recession doesn't exist, but I might be questioning our approach to issue resolution. So, thank you See's for reminding me that life really can be simple and sweet!

February 18, 2011

It's here, it's finally here.... Girl Scout cookie season! I walked into work and found the most  magical of all surprises: Two Samoas (or shall I say Coconut Delights) waiting to be devoured by yours truly. And devour them I did. Part of me hesitated... "Well, what if somebody else wants one?" Hahaha, silly little aspect of me! Now, where can I find me some thin mints?

February 17, 2011

Here's what I think makes me special: I absolutely always have a song playing in my head. Any word that anybody says triggers an internal mechanism causing me to bust out into song (sometimes inappropriately... socially speaking). I cannot stop this from happening nor do I want to. Life is so much more interesting with a soundtrack. Shout out to Pink, Janet, Gwen and Mr. Costa for supplying today's top hits.

And now announcing another special part of me... complete randomness:

February 16, 2011

People often ask me how I am able to survive working at a job that does not have a guaranteed salary... My answer: I can't imagine working at a job where I had to put in 40+ hours a week whether there was work or not. I get paid when I work and only when I work and quite frankly, I love it. My free time, my unpaid vacations, my not taking work home with me are more valuable to me than having the exact same paycheck every two weeks. The money will come, it always has and it will continue to.

Today, I got frustrated because I got called into work at the last hour for two 25 minute massages. I got frustrated because somebody called me and basically told me that I could make significant money for less than one hour of work. I worked a total of two hours today, and I am leaving for Tanzania on Sunday. So really Jamie, what is there to be frustrated about?

February 15, 2011

Shirt-tucked-in guy ALWAYS makes me laugh... ALWAYS! And after a day of way too much shopping with not much to show for it... this was perfection.

February 14, 2011

On our way to lunch...

Marc: "I'm a big fan of our lives right now"
Jamie: "ME TOO!"

Later (or earlier)...

Jamie: "This street is really pretty"
Marc: "I was just thinking the same thing"

February 13, 2011

It's all about attitude! And I'm not talkin' about the kind of attitude one would have on the runway, although very necessary when you find yourself in the high fashion spotlight . I'm referring to the those thoughts that cross your mind and the behavior that follows when you find yourself in a less than ideal situation. Guess what happens when you approach a scenario with a grumpy bear outlook? You get exactly what you are looking for...something to be grumpy about. Who wants that, right? Not I.

Today, somebody thought that I was the mother of my 20 year old friend... Could this have offended me? yes. Did it? No. That ish is hysterical! I'm only 31.

February 12, 2011

While giving a massage, I took notice of a special stone that a friend had given me. Its a beautiful, green stone and although I don't remember what it is called, I do remember that its inherent quality brings me just about everything wonderful in the entire world (or something simple like that). In a split second it hit me, the true purpose of that stone or any other gem, crystal, coin, feather, etc... to elicit the memory that I am already everything that I need. No item could ever bring me what I don't already have within me.

And now, every time I see the stone... I remember.

February 11. 2011

The point I have been trying to make all along was proven, yet again, tonight. One girl gathered together 30 of her closest friends and family, provided them with a delicious dinner and inspired them to donate in support of orphaned children in Bali. My heart was full of love when watching these children sing us songs (oh the beauty of Skype) and $515 later, I think its safe to say, everyone's heart was full of love.

It's clear... It really doesn't take a lot to make a difference in this world. We ALL have it within us to give back and to give love!

February 10, 2011

Laughing really is the best medicine... and I do it on a daily! Today was one of those days where I felt completely incapable of doing anything. So, I worked (the biggest challenge of the day), got a massage, watched Arrested Development (greatest show EVER), took a nap, then got to see this handsome man on stage. Racing thoughts about the to-do list had to be put on hold. I even gave away my appointment for tomorrow morning. Sometimes I just need a break and its up to me to know when to take it.

February 9, 2011

Of all the little lessons that I learned today and all the great little wins (like purchasing a bra that fits), the event that brought me the most joy was when I realized I didn't have to wash my face before bed because I already gave myself a facial at work!

Oh, and the only picture I took today was of this delicious piece of raw apple pie. Yes, I said "raw" and it was a delight!

February 8, 2011

Today I was keenly aware of my inability to do one thing at a time. I was driving and talking, shopping and emailing, eating and watching TV. I think I was even trying to get dressed while brushing my teeth. Is there really not enough time in the day for one task at a time? What clock am I trying to beat? Don't get me wrong, multi tasking can be very useful in a world of "getting it done", but it also begs the question... Am I really putting 100% into the things that I do, the things that matter most to me? I don't think so.

Surprisingly, with all that I was "doing", I was not stressed or frustrated (that's a new one), but the events of the day helped me to realize the importance of stopping and taking a deep breath (even if it is in the lingerie section of Kohl's)

February 7, 2011

Overstimulation... that's the name of this American game. I am exhausted by the lights, the colors, the advertisements and the choices. I mean, really, Tampon "sport"? What have I been doing all these years with the regular non-sport? I can't believe I survived. I am not sure why now, more than ever before, I am sensitive to it. Or do I know?

I prefer simplicity. But that seems to go against every grain of the American standard. So today, I stand proud and speak from the depths of my star spangled soul... I want LESS!

February 6, 2011

Today, in response to a statement about camping, I said "that's not my thing". Then I thought about it... "not my thing?" What does that even mean? I've hiked all night to climb a near vertical rock, went by myself to an extremely distant land staying in a mountain-lodge-type-thing with no hot water or electricity and spent a month living out of a backpack sleeping on night trains. And, camping... camping isn't my thing? I think its about time to let go of that silly little story. I have absolutely NO idea if I like camping or not. I have surprised myself throughout my life with the activities I enjoy doing and I now choose not to close myself off to new experiences by preemptively making ridiculous statements.

There was a time when I said I couldn't even take care of a plant... I even killed a fake plant. But look at this sprawling beauty. I'm a regular green thumb!

February 5, 2011

Well, it happened.

Today, I heard the "nicest thing Marc has ever said to me". We were watching the scene from Glee with Gwyneth Paltrow singing "Forget You" and then I heard them, the words that will ring in my ears forever... "Honey, I feel like you can do that." I turned to him with eyes wide and declared, with a great gasp, "HONEY, that was the nicest thing you ever said to me!" Do you know what this means? He really has been paying attention to me when I sing and dance like a lunatic all over the house... and he likes it!

February 4, 2011

8 and a half hours of massage within 12 hours (a couple hours in between spent running about) and here is a simple thought I had... I inspire myself! This is precisely why I have this great big smile on my face as I get ready to fall asleep. Thank you very much and have a nice night!

February 3, 2011

Simply said, I am so grateful to have Marc in my life. He makes me laugh out loud without actually being around, brings me "surprises" of coconut water (genius), tells me to go to Tanzania (because I want to, that is), and really tries to listen to me as as I am talking to him while he is sleeping... that's quite a talent. He's just so darn lovable. And after all this time, I still get excited when I hear him opening the front door.

Now, did I take this original picture? No. But I most certainly took a picture of it and in my book, that counts.

February 2, 2011

Here's the thing... I continue to get exactly what I ask for (and this does not always mean a million dollars and free flights). See, I have this abundance affirmation that I quite enjoy reading, as more abundance seems like a lovely idea. And as it were, the universe delivers! But not without a twist. Saying yes to one thing often means saying no to another. However, I want to say yes to both. Pretty tricky, universe... pretty tricky! It's up to me which I choose and it is also up to me how I choose to behave once said decision is made. 

February 1, 2011

There is no room in my life to be afraid. What happens if I live in fear? Well nothing, except stagnation and lost opportunities. If I gave into fear 14 years ago, I would not be married to this amazing, inspiring, hysterical man that adds so much joy into my life. What does anyone have to be afraid of?... being hurt, messing up, having to start over, being embarrassed. Really? Is that the worst that can happen? I'd rather jump in and take my chances because when it all works out, it is quite possibly the most beautiful feeling in the world!

You know what? I was afraid to post a picture of myself on here! F that... here it is, full color and no makeup!